I haven't had to write the date that much this year and when i do i forget that we are indeed in 2017. A new year and for me a new country but still life has continued to be hectic and to still throw up plenty of complications or forks in the road. Sometimes i wish life could be predictable, but then i did choose moving to somewhere completely different to what i already knew, so i should have expected this!
At present i am trying to work out how i can set up my massage business here in India. I am being given lots of advice by people and it is hard to know who i should listen to and who i should thank for their advice and move on and to ensure i am not coerced in to something i do not actually want to do. Not knowing the system out here does not help! I worry about it but then i remind myself that i set up a very successful mobile massage business in the UK, when my massage tutor told me that a mobile business would never work as you won't get enough interest. I ended up working so many hours that i was regularly turning work away and was fully booked up most weeks. That is why it is always important to listen to your own inner voice, as it often know the way and can guide you best. So today i will spend some time in quiet reflection trying to figure out how to make this all work.
Money is such an odd thing, i don't particularly like it and am not materialistic and yet not earning some money, even though i am working really hard by putting so many hours in at the NGO makes me feel uncomfortable and knocks my self esteem. I don't like not being self sufficient and i want to be able to provide for myself and have money coming in rather than relying on savings. It's amazing how some of your self worth can be tied to the earning of money and feeling successful be it by whatever you set the margin for that. For example i have worked hard for the NGO i am with. In two months i have turned around their Facebook page and use it as a platform to educate people about child poverty and the work we are doing. I have fundraised lots for them and for the past six weeks have spent a lot of time coordinating with various people, a client of mine bringing out 23kg of free resources for us that people have donated, not to mention there should be enough for a second person coming out at a later date. I have introduced interactive learning at the school which the kids absolutely love and they will come running to school to learn this new way of teaching and to play the 'games'. Their learning has improved and they have grown and developed educationally which is a huge success....and yet it is not enough because i am earning no money to be able to support myself.....strange! I guess i have just always been self reliant that right now not earning anything and relying on savings worries me and it is not how i like to live my life. I know i will be much happier when i have money coming in and can fully support myself.
I guess right now my massage business is my biggest focus and finding my way forward with all that and learning to stick to what i believe whilst being open to ideas from others. I don't think much else has happened since i last wrote. The NGO work is keeping me busy as always and it is remembering that sometimes i need to step back and not be pushed in to doing more and more work as it is easy to get caught up with working so much and not leaving on time. India seems to be a place where you often have to enforce your boundaries and remember who you are.
I have had some wonderful times this week though with fantastic meals out and a trip to the cinema to watch a Hindi movie. There were little bits of English here and there which helped me! However i find you don't need to be able to speak the language to work out what someone is saying or the gist of the film. That is another thing about India, i can be having a relaxed day and then someone will message me and say, lets meet in an hour or we go out for a quick bite and six hours later and having changed venue two or three times i finally get home! Expect the unexpected and i am certainly finding that living out here!