What I've learnt about five months living in India....

Firstly, where the hell has all the time gone and secondly wow five months!  For some time now, living in India has been the norm, the everyday experience that in some ways I almost forget how life was like in the UK as I continue to live in the here and now, only focusing on that and never reminiscing about my old life in the UK.  I knew from the very start when I set off on this adventure that I would not miss the UK, not because there is anything wrong with it but because a person's home should not be defined by the country they are born in but the place their heart belongs to and the place they make home.....

However after a rather random journey to my friend's house last night that should have taken 20 minutes and resulted in the Uber moto getting lost, wanting me to speak on the phone to half his family and making numerous comments that bordered on creepy or just plain stupid, it reminds me that India has so much still to offer and I have so much still to understand!  It did make for good entertainment when I got to my friend's house and having had to speak Hindi on the phone to the driver to explain her location, she had also come to the same conclusion as me!  On the other hand, I am loving the Uber moto's!  The chance to be on the back of a bike, which is where I prefer to be.  My brother had a bike when I was younger and I used to love being on the back and riding on the back of a motorbike is always more interesting in India!

What I've learnt after five months in India;

• I made the right decision!  Sat with my friend last night, keeping her awake for several hours putting the world to rights, I realised how settled and at peace I am here and how fortunate I am to have amazing people around me.  I sat there happy as we discussed plans for the future and I realised despite some of the battles I have experienced here, I don't regret my decision.

• There are some random people out there who can be difficult and have absolutely no common sense.....and then you meet some amazing people that you are fortunate to call friends.  Whether it's the guys I work with at the hostel that show me that there are young men here with innovation and business minds who have a different way of thinking and kind hearts to my female friends that I laugh and joke with and find cultural barriers broken with and friendships that define social and cultural norms.  Some of my friends are people who speak almost no English and I speak little Hindi and yet there are connections there. 

• That having an Indian brother is the best!  Not only do they have to take all your joking and messing about, they have to be there for you and solve your problems!  As my Indian brother said at the beginning of our relationship, 'I'm not sure I want a sister, it's a big responsibility and it means I always have to be there for her and help with anything she needs'.  Fortunately for me, he takes his role seriously and is one of my biggest helps and my dearest friends and I really am honoured to call him my brother, I would have struggled without him.

• Street food is amazing and thanks to the guys I work with I am finding so much about the different street foods and getting to sample them.  Yesterday we had Dal ki Kachori and I am so going back for more of that!  I am going to be a street food connoisseur in no time!

• Things really do take time to happen.....for someone who struggles with time and patience, it's been a big lesson!  After five months of being here and trying so hard to explore work opportunities it has only been this last month where work situations have really begun to open up.  Not just work opportunities but life is becoming more full thanks to the connections I am making and the people coming in to my life.    Since I got here I have been trying hard to set up some kind of work and especially my massage work as that's what I love but this last month has seen so much change.  From getting a content writing job for a hostel blog, to a new volunteer partnership scheme that we are in the process of creating to other possible work opportunities and finally some responses from hotels in the area to the possibility of massage work.  We shall see where it leads but it feels like someone has hit the accelerator pedal and life has become super busy and full of opportunities.  It comes at a good time as my ultimate goal is to become self sufficient in India.

• I still have so much to learn about Jaipur and the culture here never mind the rest of India.  India truly is so big and each state is like another country and whilst I become aware of my city and state, I have no awareness of the other states.  I try to understand and comprehend the social, cultural and gender situations but there are many times I am told things that I just struggle to comprehend or get my head around.  I struggle with the fact that people pass so many judgements, whether it's the fact you have too many cups of tea or how you have your hair to every decision you make in life.  I try and fail to comprehend some of the choices people feel they have to make or the line that someone can not do something because it is not acceptable in society, I guess because I was fortunate to grow up in an environment where my mum did not imprint her values on us and allowed us the freedom to be our own person.  Thank you mum!

• People like to do things last minute, I have got to learn to go with the flow.  It is very common for someone to get in touch with you and say 'We're going out in an hour' or 'let's meet in a few hours' or 'I'm just coming round'.  Planning is less likely and you've got to be prepared for any possibilities and that whilst in the morning you may not have had plans, by the evening that may have changed!

• I've learnt to be late!!  I used to love being on time but for some reason I have learnt to adapt very well to the Indian way of keeping time and suddenly meeting someone dead on 2pm seems very difficult as i turn up 20 or 30 minutes later than planned!   It's great though, you end up with more time than you used to and you don't have to stress about being late as everyone else is anyway:-)

• Don't be afraid to approach people!  Due to still having a long way to go with my Hindi I have no problem with going up to complete strangers and asking them to speak to Uber for me as I thrust my phone in their face.  I've also learnt Uber prefers it if you phone them in order to make them come! That's not going to happen for me anytime soon, especially when Uber drivers can not work out which language I am speaking in as I mash Hindi and English together in some garbled tone!

• I'm tight, even in comparison to Indians!  Now I have always been a saver and if you ask my family they will tell you I have always been tight! I like to see it as being careful with money!  I prefer to buy all my clothes from either charity shops or on Ebay rather than ever paying ridiculous full prices.  I would prefer to use coupons or offers and experience a bargain and spend only when I felt it was needed.  Now I would always pay for my massages or osteopathy treatments as I have always believed it's important to look after the body, but I was never interested in eating in that expensive restaurant or going to the five star hotel.  I'll try and save money where I can and that works great here and I'm getting as bad as some of my Indian friends when I start shrieking and asking them how much they paid or congratulating them on a good bargain.  I love being around bargain conscious people!

• Asking for help.  When I first moved to India, I tried to do everything for myself especially when  it comes to buying things or finding out where to get things from.  This was not only time consuming but as many people point out to me, not everything can be found on google.  As time has gone on I have loosened my grip on Google and Amazon and turned to friends for help instead and found out life is easier that way.  In the UK I was used to being completely independent but India has taught me it's not about losing your independence but realising what  a wonderful support network you have with people happy to help.

• Lastly, India has a love of bureaucratic paperwork, as I continue my hair pulling experience of getting my visa extended.  My bhai and I have spent almost two months working on the visa process and my visa is due to expire in a week and we are hopefully, finally, almost there!  It's taken the creation of so many documents, that were checked and then checked again only for faults that were fine the first time to suddenly be found.  Once the visa is finally extended and my biggest stress completed, next up is sorting out my sim card for my phone and my internet, both of which are due to be cut off due to my visa expiring and we will have numerous bits of paper work to sort as a result of that.

As my friend said, with all the dramas over the visa, difficulties at the charity and then the phone and internet to sort out, do I not think about going back to the UK.  However you can see these difficulties as obstacles or opportunities that challenge you and prepare you.  I always believe in life that you should have the strength to stand up for what you believe in and to live the life you desire even if  it goes against society and those around you than to deny whatever it is that is important to you. Plus this time round, maybe I'm getting used to the Indian way of things and I'm not half as frustrated by it as I once would of be.  India definitely leaves it's mark, but it also leaves enough scope for me to continue being me, defiant and feisty to the end! 

Some mischievous visitors!

Life in India is always interesting, probably because it is so different from the UK!  In the UK we do not have peacocks wandering around or making a cat call every night as they settle down for the evening, we do not have parrots flying over us each day (unless your in a certain area of London!),  we do not have cows wandering freely everywhere, or elephants running red lights or camels pulling carts to work.  Nor do we have cheeky monkeys that break in to your house because you forget to close the gate and steal your bananas!

I first came across this group of monkeys when at 6am one morning, which is never a good time for Dannie, my friend and I were awoken by a loud banging noise outside.  I went out first to investigate and found a little monkey swinging on my neighbours metal ladder attached to the house and getting great fun out of making such a loud racket!  There were about nine monkeys.  One had clearly stolen a top from somewhere and decided it would be great fun to put the top over his head, but not fully down so he couldn't see and then put his arms through and run around like a little ghost.  He seemed to love doing this!

I watched them for a while and then headed in to tell my friend who had also been woken by the noise.  As she came to investigate they decided they would come check out my terrace. So next thing we knew there were three monkeys on our terrace, reminding me that it was their terrace and for me to back off!  How nice!

The next morning they decided to be our wake up call again but decided to start a little earlier at 5.30am....I was not impressed!

However this particular group of monkeys really proved they lived up to their name when one afternoon whilst sat in my lounge, I wander towards the kitchen and see the back of an animal.  It was a lovely grey blue colour and my first natural reaction was, it was a cat!  Then I realised no, not a cat, a monkey!  Three monkeys to be precise and they were all trying to steal my big bunch of bananas that I had left on the kitchen top!  There was no way I was going to lose the bananas I had just bought, so I went charging at them......then realised they could bite so I ran the over way!  They slightly chased me and were hissing at me whilst I shouted back at them from the comfort of the half closed door!  They had each got a banana and were going back for more, which is when I figured I would chuck the cushion at them.  Fortunately this worked and they scarpered, they each only had one banana and one dropped half of his!

After they left I locked the screen door, which is what I should have done in the first place!  A few moments later I hear a crying sound and it is the monkey back and crying for his other half of the banana he dropped.  So like a fool I am.....I felt sorry for him and chucked the other half out!

Having your bananas stolen by monkeys is not your every day UK experience and although I was down a few bananas for my oat cakes it was a funny experience!  These monkeys probably frequent my terrace once a week that I know of, sometimes I can just hear them outside calling.

Today as I walked home from work, down our very quiet residential street i came across a man with his camel and cart, just plodding along as you do.  The novelty doesn't seem to wear off......

From planning to living!

So from initially planning all this and following through the process in October when i last blogged, a lot has changed! Firstly we are now in February which means that i am now living in India rather than just planning the move! I would have continued with my blog in the run up to it all but life became so hectic. I am never one to do just take it easy and i always push myself to the limit and this was no exception. In the five months from August when i came up with this amazing idea, until the end of December when i actually followed through on it, i was house sitting as i didn't really have anywhere to live, then finally found a lovely lady to live with who became a great friend. I got rid of everything i owned that was in storage, it is amazing how little we need. I bought a flat in order to let out as an investment which brought all its own problems too from difficult solicitors, never ending processes and demanding tenants! I closed down a very busy massage practice that i could have happily kept on running and had such lovely clients and finished off everything that needed completing in the UK in order to come out here. It was bloody hard work! It involved days with very little sleep and so much stress....and it is still stressful but it was definitely worth it and not once have i ever questioned my decision!

Despite having now rented my own place out here so i am committed to being here for eleven months and happily so, as well as in the process of setting up my own massage business here, it still feels a little strange to think that i am not going back to the UK anytime soon. Don't get me wrong, i don't want to go back, but I still talk about my 'clients' and then realise they are no longer my clients as i don't have that business anymore. It seems strange to think that i won't just hop in my car and drive to the New Forest where i used to like to go walking or just to pop to the shop for a meal deal....I lived on these! In other ways though it feels i have lived here for some time and i feel more settled than i have in a long time. The plane journey out here was long and dragged on, although i had a lovely lady next to me for company, but when the plane finally touched down i felt a lot more peace because i am where i am meant to be.

For me this is a spiritual quest if you will, it is me fulfilling whatever that drive and intuitive feeling is within me that asks me to do this and because of that it makes it easier to be here. It also leaves people feeling confused about me being here, that i would 'give up' all i had in the UK to move to another country where i am not paid, where i do not have a lot of my previous home comforts and live in a society very different from the one i have come from. My response always tends to be the same, that it depends on what you value in life and where your priorities lie. I have never been materialistic and to me some of the richest people are the people who have no money but have the richest and most generous hearts and i would rather be like those people. Sadly people still look at me somewhat perplexed but i am doing what i believe in, what i love and each day i am rewarded with beautiful moments, whether it is the children from the slums trying to share their sweets with me despite having so little, them dancing for me or running to greet me with such happy faces when i arrive at school or friends spontaneously taking me to temples or surprise trips out. Sometimes though i definitely wish i had picked the easier route, ignored the voice inside and picked the 'safe option', at least then i would have breakfast bars and my comfort zone!

So, two months in India and how has it all gone! I am now in to a routine with the NGO that i work with and work Monday to Friday 9am to 3.30pm with them and we run the classes for the children between 11am till 2pm. The conditions these children live in are true slum conditions where their houses are constructed of bamboo and plastic sheeting, including the school that i work in. Each day we put down sheets to keep off the dust and dirt from the ground underneath. The surface is not flat so it can make it interesting when we play an activity as things can slide! The weather is beginning to warm up now so that's a bit better for them, but during the winter months it was cold for the people as they have no real way of keeping warm, as such they didn't sleep much at night which is sad to think of kids living this way. The children enjoy coming to school but they are wild children, it is the only life they know and for them, playing on the broken down buses and climbing up them is their playground, so you have to expect them to be pretty extreme. Some of the children really want to learn and as soon as you turn it in to a game they all want to play and suddenly the school is full of children.

We tend to have our regular children who come almost every day where as other children drift in and out and even now i am still seeing some children i have not met before. Working with these children is hard work and tiring and they can frustrate you and push all your buttons, but they can also make everything amazing and when you consider the quality of life they have and are likely to have you can't help but be moved. It is sad to think that some of these beautiful children who want to do well and are hard working at school live in a situation that is hard to break out of and provides them with little opportunities. Someone once asked me how i could work with them and did i not find it too overwhelming but when you work with them and see their smiles and the way they interact and just behave as children, you know why you do. I love working with these children they bring a unique happiness to me, not because they live in a slum but because they welcome me in that pure way that children do and even in their wild ways there is an innocence to them and you can't help but connect with and care for them. Having worked in education for eight years with children with special needs really helps though and making educational games has become my speciality. Who knew alphabet snap or shape memory games would be so popular! I have not introduced them to the fishing game yet!

As for life in general in India, after a while it feels like you could be anywhere. I walk to work every day which is a twenty minute walk, stick my music on, day dream and I could be walking to work in any country. I have learned to negotiate the traffic which means crossing the road in front of the cars whenever you want and gageing who will stop and who won't! Walking in to the slum is a normal part of my day and although the people sometimes view me with curiosity they have been welcoming and see me as a regular fixture. Although one lady insists I put cream on my face to get rid of the dark circles under my eyes and they think I should put eye liner on to make my eyes more noticeable! They were very supportive when I got bit by a dog and they will walk me through the slum if there are lots of stray dogs around to make sure I am OK. Despite the fact that my colleague mainly speaks Hindi and I speak English, we work well together and the language barrier does not pose any real problems. I have friends here who I can relate to and places that we like to hang out that could be anywhere in the world, after a while you forget that you are the odd one out. I have only been asked for my photo a few times thankfully and whilst there are plenty of stares I don't notice these too much unless I am laughing whilst someone almost crashes their bikes because they are too busy looking at me!

The next two months should be busy as i try and establish my massage business here or find alternative means of making some money. My intention to be in India is long term and as such i need to find a way to make that viable as i do not intend to leave anytime within the next few years if i can help it. There is still so much i want to do to help people out here and seeing as i feel i am here for several reasons, i don't envisage leaving until my intuition tells me it is time to go....which i sense is not going to happen for quite some time and not while i deeply love India.